He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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