Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
