Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
