Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
