It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
