It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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