Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
