The brown eye won't let me do that either.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
