Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
