I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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