smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
