Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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