i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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