She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
