You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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