I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
