oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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