i already hear my dad disowning me
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You have to summon your inner elephant
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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