How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
its not stalking. its research.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i dont even know how to be here
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
