Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
