I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
