I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
