I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
