Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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