I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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