four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
