I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
