dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
