Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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