She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
