At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
