this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
is it fun? or sober?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
