I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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