why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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