I'm going to jail i love you
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
foreskin is a definite game changer
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
