Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
