Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Alive.
So much puke
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
