I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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