3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
