Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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