Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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