I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
