just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
