I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize