I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
