I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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