Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The best revenge is premature balding
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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