I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
