I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
