I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
