Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
