I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I need a burrito and a hug.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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