K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I got chris browned last night
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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