ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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