Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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