I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
