I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
