is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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