when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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