Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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