Need sex. Gaining weight.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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