Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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