My first STD was from a foam party
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
