Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
