Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize