You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
