Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
