There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
