you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
