jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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