Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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