So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
