I need help removing her.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
