This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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