You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I look better un-naked...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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