...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
