he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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