I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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