Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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